Funny Old Web: Ling's answer to the EU's online privacy directive

Eccentric genius auto entrepreneur Ling Valentine doesn't mince her words about the impending EU online privacy law:

Piss off Von Rumpy. Me... I hammer visitors to death with cookies, so I can find out what they want. Cookies allow my website to serve visitors the content they need. Get used to it. The EU cookie law is an ass.

Some of the cookies used on this super hi-tech site include:

cookie:is_visitor_ginger=no; This cookie monitors accidentally open video feeds (ie. webcams) and measures the occurrence of ginger Hex Code #B06500 and RGB code 176, 101, 0 on the pixel display return. Modifies prices, based on likelihood of visitor being Scottish.

cookie:hair-colour+shampoo_type=PANTENE; This cookie uses monitor reflection technology to determine the lumen return and head-shaking of the hairy user.

cookie:how_gullible_is_visitor=COMPLETELY; This cookie sees how many times this cookie viewer is invoked to determine the gullibility and stupidity of visitors.


Spotted by @lakey